50 Crucial Questions by John Piper & Wayne Grudem targets some of the biggest questions that arise on the issue of manhood and womanhood. It is derived from the more exhaustive Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

For such a time as this, we must embrace what God has to say about manhood and womanhood.

Gender identity is not only a culturally relevant topic but one with which the church itself must grapple in order to show how the Bible addresses these matters. A right understanding of headship and submission, at least according to the Bible, will determine how we live out those roles.

So much of how the church has dealt with it historically has twisted these roles. Headship is often practiced with an air of pride and power, while submission is perceived to be weak and unjust. Our mission should be to restore the truth that has been lost by reframing God’s created order in such a way that unbelievers might see Christ’s love for and through His church.

In this summary, you will learn:

  • the primary questions regarding gender roles;
  • the perspective God offers through His Word on His ordained order for gender; and
  • tips for communicating biblical manhood and womanhood to the church and the world.

The Bible is the ultimate source for defining manhood and womanhood, both in the home and in the church.

Given what is going on in the world today, there is a clear need for revisiting what the Bible has to say about manhood and womanhood. It is less about how men and women act out those roles and more about what it means to be a man and a woman that warrants attention.

There are four reasons why a biblical understanding is vital in light of the ways that sexual identity has gone awry. First, when we look at what is happening in marriages, it is evident that how we portray Christ’s relationship with the church is failing. Second, kids are not learning the true definition of masculinity and femininity from their parents. Third, homosexuality has taken hold in our culture, and many are normalizing and approving of that behavior. Fourth, many churches are supporting women in leadership in ways that go against what the Bible directs. The beauty in men and women being both different but complementary has grown dim. This is a big deal because the confusion tampers with God’s intention for His creation.

In the discussion about women having positions of leadership in the church, the specific reference is to becoming a pastor or elder. The Bible indicates that this position is reserved for men alone, so when women do it, it defies God’s commands. This idea comes from passages like 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 and 1 Timothy 2:11-15. What also supports this idea is how the Bible connects family dynamics with the church, indicating that men should be leaders both at home and at church.

The relationship between Christ and the church is precious, and marriage illustrates it. Men take on the role of Christ as they actively love their women through the giving of themselves, while God intended that women represent the church in their willingness to submit to their husbands.

For a wife to submit, she must maintain her perspective that she entrusts her direction and guidance to God. With her eyes fixed on God, she is best able to recognize that He has given her husband the responsibility of leadership by proxy. The most important thing is for her to have an attitude that wants to follow her husband, unless of course he is ushering her into sin. She must firmly but lovingly resist sin. A husband’s role of representing the Head, which is Christ, means that he focuses on keeping his wife safe and secure, taking care of her needs.

We need to maintain our understanding of the metaphor of marriage, for it is the relationship between Christ and the church.

As we dive deeper into the terms “headship” and “submission,” we look at passages like Ephesians 5:21-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7 to help us understand the dynamic to which God calls us. In those verses, we see more to male leadership than just what society dictated at the time. Those verses also emphasized the structure that God first intended when He created men and women.

We do want to be careful, though. Just because a husband is the head does not mean that he comes to conclusions for his family without his wife’s input. That is not what it means to be a leader. In fact, all decisions are best arrived at together. A wife contributes her life experience to the decision and then employs her spiritual gifts to see that the decision comes to fruition. Though Christ remains the ultimate authority, that does not negate the leadership structures that God has set in place.

A godly husband will consider what will work best for his wife, just like a godly wife intentionally submits in such a way that recognizes his headship as an outworking of Christ’s authority. One of the issues with mistreatment in the home goes back to how those spouses were raised and whether they learned the biblical definition of masculinity and femininity.

It is important to note that there are distinctions between how men and women are supposed to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). We have to recall that Christ and the church have different ways they respond to each other. The church does not have dominion over Christ, but Christ does show us what love is when He gave Himself up for us at the cross. The church must yield to Christ’s will because she trusts His leadership. That is how it ought to be in a marriage.

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